Testimony/Jekyll’s Lessons 1: Quick Thinking


I’m sure you’re all wanting a bit of backstory. How I came to be stalked by the Slender Man in the first place. Well, I’m not going to make up some sort of crap about how I was stalked by him for ten years and that I had nightmares about him as a kid. No, when I was a kid, my nightmares were about the Big Bad Wolf knocking on my door and saying “little pig, little pig, let me come in.” Also, I know what you’re thinking and fuck you, it was terrifying when I was four.

But anyway, I’ve been involved for about a good old earth year now. My friend showed me Marble Hornets late last summer, and it scared the shit out of me in the best way possible. I’d never really seen any horror movies before, but I loved this. Of course, I had no clue what the fuck was going on (by about Entry #18, he refused to even say anything whenever I asked him what the hell was happening), but he explained the Slender Man when we finished Entry #26 (back in those days, there wasn’t a second season and we actually had to wait for a long enough time between the entries to justify the complaining). Naturally, I looked him up. Found the Something Awful thread, found the subforum on Unfiction, found the Slender Nation, found the TV Tropes Page, found EverymanHYBRID, found TribeTwelve, found the blogs.

A few months later, found myself in a world of trouble.

I heard about the Tulpa Effect, and I laughed at it a bit, even if it was a nice theory. But then, as all of this tends to do, it started feeling real—too real. It started with the dreams. Clearly just my subconscious messing with me, latching onto a new obsession. I didn’t think much of it, considering that I’d also had dreams about Megatron and the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz (dressed, for some reason, in biker leather) showing up at my dorm and having dinner with my family (because they were there too for some reason). Started seeing things out of the corner of my eye. Again, just my subconscious messing with me. Got a cold and a terrible cough. Now, that was enough to make me suspicious. I knew it was coincidence. But I also overthink things. It’s what kept me alive. What worked for sure? What didn’t? How would I recognize his hallowed/agents/proxies/whatever? How would I avoid becoming one? How do I keep everyone around me from being dragged into this, and if someone does get dragged in, how do I keep them alive?

That’s the key to staying alive: having a plan. Wait, no, that’s actually the worst way to try staying alive. People with no plan can at least wing it when things go wrong. The key to staying alive is having plans. Plural. Multiple. Every corner, every angle, ever fucking last possibility must be covered. You’re safe because you’re on the roof? Well the Slender Man must also be safe, because he’s up there with you. Think you don’t have to worry about Revenants because they don’t exist? Tough. Reach was loyal to the Slender Man to the end, the revelation was a lie, and there’s a superpowered human ringing your doorbell. What now, chucklefuck? Laughing off Breaker and H(a)unting for having multiple Slender Men? Think fast, douchefag: there’s a whole army of them and they’re all coming after you. No matter how convinced you are that it’s not going to happen, there’s one thing you have to keep in mind: it might. And survival all depends on whether or not you keep that might in mind.

I’ll be going over some strategies in the future. Keep in mind that these are personal strategies, and therefore nothing more than good suggestions. I have one rule and one rule only: the Slender Man is unpredictable, and what works for me may not work for you. And vice versa, of course. What works for you may not work for me.

Well, I think that’s about all you need to know for right now about how I got involved in all of this. I’ll elaborate more on specific points later, but I don’t want these posts to get too long. I know how much everyone hates having to read long posts.



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sopia
    Aug 17, 2011 @ 09:12:42

    This seems awfully familiar.


  2. Elaine
    Aug 17, 2011 @ 18:59:24

    Wow, you are full of yourself, aren’t you…


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