Coming Clean

 

I’ve been putting this off, but I can’t do so forever.  It’s time to talk.  No advice, no musings…just me and whoever’s reading this.

Let me introduce myself.  Hi.  I’m Henry.

I’m sure you’ve got a few questions, and I can guess at them some.  First question you probably have: Who are you, and why are you posting on this blog?

Well, there’s a pretty simple answer to that.  It’s my blog.

And now that raises another question: Why are you spitting on the memory of this dead guy by rewriting his blog?

I’m not.  See, that was me, too.  Henry’s my name.  Not my handle.  Not my persona.  Not my mask.  If you look for it, you can see that I’m the same guy, down to the quirks no one notices.  My manually naming untitled posts “Untitled” because leaving the title space blank annoys me.  The extra space I put between the title and the body text, just because I think the spacing looks better.  If you look for it, you’ll see that I’m telling the truth.  Either that, or I’m just an obsessive fan, and—let’s be honest here—no one would obsess over me.

There are questions I’m sure you have that I won’t answer yet.  Things I’m not ready to say.  How am I talking to you?  Wasn’t I supposed to be dead?  What’s going on?  Where am I?  When am I?  I think I can answer these.  I’m not sure, though, and even if I was, I wouldn’t be ready to.  See, this is…an unusual situation, and one that’s a bit hard to explain.

Some of you might still be in the dark.  Well, there was this blog.  A blog called Now I Shall Know You Again.  If you haven’t read it, you should, since it’ll help you understand this better.  But if you don’t have the time, let me provide a very quick summary: a young man trying to provide advice to keep other people alive ends up dealing with a split persona and turns to despair when a particularly close friend of his gets involved and ultimately killed—a death he feels responsible for.

Don’t see where I’m going?  Well, let me explain.  If I had to choose my favorite game, it’d probably be The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask.  It’s such an interesting concept, and it can really only be told through a video game.  Our protagonist, Link, finds himself thrust into a strange, new world called Termina, completely unprepared, and finds that he has to stop the moon from crashing into the land and destroying it entirely.  On top of that, the moon’s descent will be complete in only three days.  Fortunately, Link is able to recover the Ocarina of Time, a flute-like instrument that allows him to turn back time and restart those three days—but every time he does, all he’s done in Termina is undone.

Majora’s Mask runs on what’s called a Groundhog Day Loop.  It’s named for the Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day, where he relives the titular day over and over, until he’s finally able to do things right.  He can’t die, he can’t change anything but himself, and by the end of the movie, he’s been around long enough to master certain skills (like playing the piano) and memorize the events of the day.  Of course, in Groundhog Day, all you see is glimpses.  In Majora’s Mask, you’re actually able to spend three days following someone around.  You can see what they do, where they go, what their schedules are like.  You live those three days over and over until you’re able to beat the game, slowly gathering the equipment to do so.

Why am I going into this?  Because Majora’s Mask was all about the sidequests, and the sidequests were all about helping people.  One thing I loved doing was making sure I did all the sidequests on the last day before beating the final boss, even if I had gotten the reward for the sidequest already, just so I could say that, this time, it was permanent.  This time, the changes wouldn’t be undone by resetting time.  In the game, you had the feeling you could make a difference.  You wanted to help these people with everything from saving a marriage to saving a farm to saving the mayor from an unpleasant argument.

Well, I want to help people.  And I fucked it up.  And then, I was given my own Groundhog Day.  My own Song of Time.  And this time, I was going to make the most of it.  Get my thoughts together.  Get Hyde under control so I could be more reliable.  Drive people further away in case I wasn’t.

But most importantly, I was going to save Girl this time.  No, not Girl.  It’s kind of rude to call her that.  Erin.  I was going to make sure Erin got out of this okay.

Well…it isn’t working.  She knows.  She knows about him.  The Slender Man.  Even though I thought I did things right, she still knows about him and still asked me about him.  She’s already started writing in a notebook like she had before.  I almost think it might be worse this time.  And I don’t know if I can save her.

I’m scared guys.  I’ll flat-out admit it.  I am fucking scared.  I think I did this wrong.  I don’t know if I’ll have to do it again.  I don’t know if I can handle it another time.  All the people I knew back then?  The few people I could almost consider friends, or at least acquaintances?  Slice, Andrew, Ava, Aimee, Ali…even Frap?  They’re all gone.  Dead.  All the people I know now?  They’re all dying, too.  Zeke and M are the only constants.  I can’t stand meeting new people again.  I can’t seeing new faces and getting invested in them and then watching them die.  It doesn’t matter if they take my advice or not.  If they don’t and they die, I couldn’t help them.  If they do and they die, that’s almost worse, because I tried to help them, but I failed.

I can’t go through that again, guys.  I can’t be some constant, watching new faces come and go just as quickly, powerless to do anything.  And above all, I can’t let Erin die again.  I can’t stand to watch her die over and over.  I don’t even have that stupid crush on her anymore holding me back.  I hope that she and her boyfriend are happy.  I just want to to be her friend, and I just want to be able to help her.

But I don’t know if I can.

I’m open to advice, but I can’t accept help.  Where I am, you can’t go.  I have to do this on my own.  But please, I know…I know that there’s almost no one out there, but that doesn’t mean that I want to do it alone.

Please?

-H

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Jekyll’s Lessons 4: Trust

 

I’m not going to sugar-coat this: a lot of you are fucking morons.  Some of the moves you make look Jay looks smart.  And this is the guy who decides to go visit abandoned houses at night.

And you know why I say you’re all so stupid and genre blind?  Because you go around automatically assuming that everyone out there wants to help you.  That nothing could possibly go wrong.

I’m not going to make many friends by doing this, but then again, I’m not one for making friends in the first place.  But let’s begin, shall we?

I’ve seen a trend lately of bloggers coming across another blog, going “hey, you seem pretty cool—let’s get in contact!” and then deciding to meet up.  Like, in person.  With someone on the internet that you don’t know.

Now, I don’t know about your parents, but my mommy always told me not to give out my personal information to strangers, because you never know who exactly is going to toss you into their van.  And Chris Hanson told me that there are plenty of people on the internet who need a good dose of having a seat over there.  And while you eventually catch on that not everyone is out to kill, rape and, or kidnap you and realize that it’s okay to talk to strangers, by that time you should (hopefully) be equipped to tell who’s a predator and who’s the person who’s more or less just like you (note: if you are, in fact, a predator, I apologize for the redundancy of that sentence).

But here’s the thing: in the scenario we’re in right now, there is, in fact, a good chance, that everyone is trying to kill you.  People are not as trustworthy as they seem.  Let me give you some examples.

We all remember Robert Sagel.  The man responsible for Core Theory.  A man who started to emerge as a leader.  And what happened?  He went insane.  He claimed that he had a pocket knife that could kill the Slender Man.  A pocket knife.  The man that everyone put so much faith in, the man who would lead us to victory—and he’s now so distrusted that people are more willing to think he’s dead, even when he himself is telling people that he’s alive.

Or Maduin, the Jester.  The badass in the bunny mask who had the balls to prank the Slender Man itself.  And now, after we’ve been trusting him for nearly a full year, we’re being given hints that the Jester may not be who we think he is.  That he’s less trustworthy than we first assumed.

And then there are the things that absolutely stun me.  Robert and Maduin at least worked to gain trust before it was lost.  They were actually doing something other than running around aimlessly.  But some of you ass-backwards idiots?  You don’t seem to notice that all these other bloggers are unreliable chucklefucks.  Even if you’re completely convinced that the person you’re talking to doesn’t secretly mean you harm (doesn’t matter whether they’re running or working for the Slender Man, considering how sociopathic some of these people are), what’s to say that they won’t just lose their Marble Hornets at any time?  What’s to say they won’t betray you to save their own life?  And what makes you think that you’ll be safer in a group in the first place?  Fish in the ocean are a lot harder to shoot than ones in a barrel.

Let me tell you about the pinnacle of stupidity that I’ve seen.  A blogger (or rather, a friend of a blogger who sometimes posts on the blog) gets married.  He decides “hey, let’s invite all these people on the internet that I’ve never met who are all being stalked by the Slender Man and gather them all in one convenient place!  And let’s maybe even invite a few of the people working for the Slender Man because, hey, even though they work for the thing that’s probably trying to kill us, they seem like okay people!”

Really.

It’s worth noting that everyone at said wedding was attacked and that said blogger getting married ended up being killed shortly after (although I’m not certain how related that death was to the wedding incident.  Maybe karma realized that he was breaking Darwin’s Law and the universe decided to correct itself).  None of the bloggers died, which I can only attribute to either the best luck ever or the providence of some retarded higher power (because I don’t know what other sort of higher power wouldn’t just roll its eyes and let the gene pool take care of itself).

Put simply, you people are all too fucking trusting.  You’ll rather have the company of self-admitted murderers and even people working for the Slender Man over your own common sense.  I’m not saying cut yourself off from everyone entirely.  I’m just saying that, if you’re to the point where you’re considering these unstable people you know from the internet who may turn on you at any time your best friends…well, it’s either time to cut ties or to consult someone about your gambling addiction.  Because even the highest rollers don’t bet their lives like this.

And to be brutally honest, if you die or even just get yourself hurt because you trusted the wrong person…well, no offense, but you probably deserved it.

-Jekyll